Every Five Years

   Every five years, as summertime nears,
    An announcement arrives in the mail,
    A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
    Make plans to attend without fail.
 
    I'll never forget the first time we met;
    We tried so hard to impress.
    We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
    And wore our most elegant dress.
 
    It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
    It was held at a fancy hotel.
    We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
    And everyone thought it was swell.
 
    The men all conversed about who had been first
    To achieve great fortune and fame.
    Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
    And how beautiful their children became.
 
    The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
    Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
    The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
    And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
 
    No one had heard about the class nerd
    Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
    Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
    She married a shipping tycoon.
 
    The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
    Was serving ten years in the pen,
    While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
    Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
  
    They awarded a prize to one of the guys
    Who seemed to have aged the least.
    Another was given to the grad who had driven
    The farthest to attend the feast.